Now and then.

Last Saturday I went to SHOUT awards with Aya, Ain and Paan. It was fun, indeed. I never liked Faizal Tahir like i love him that very night. I wont mind being his second wife…Ok that was so not right. I enjoy seeing Zizan wins. He’s totally funny, even better when bergabung with Johan. Some things are made pair to complement each other. I’ve seen JOZAN before and there’s one episode that always made me laugh so hard i almost cried.

I walked out the stadium early, I had to fetch my sister from LCCT. Then we’re off to Concorde seeing my brother performing there. Its a siblings day out. We rarely do this, so its really nice to see your own darah daging kumpul that kinda way. My brother, Syam finish at 3am, then we makan at roadside hawker. Arrive home at 5am. Ayah dah bangun for Subuh prayers. I feel so guilty sebab unable to perform my routine.

Then, Sunday’s coming. It was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. A baby step onto a wishful journey. But it didnt happens. Kita merancang, Allah swt yang menentukan segalanya. Visited kubur arwah mak. I feel relieved and calm near to her, i can tell everything, hope that she’ll be listening and pray for me. Plant some little tree i bought earlier at IKEA at her grave, semoga pokok itu akan sentiasa bertasbih untuk mak. Wallahualam.

Rumah sedang ada sedikit renovation for the anai-anai thingy. So messed up. Ayah made dinner. We talked.

I ran through some of the things that made me think today. Here goes. taken from the link i mention below.

1. You may came across some traditional meds practitioner and doubt about it. This helps me a lot. Like my father said, sejauh mana dia mendalami ilmu dan beribadah. We’ll never know tapi if in doubt, look out for it(research), dont blindly took what they said . Link : and

2. The power of Doa Penggerak.I heard this doa over the Astro Oasis zikir munajat recitation and it calms me down. I never know i could hafal it blindly before, then came across darussyifa website that gives this doa as one of the pendinding and doa before you go somewhere.Link This is the doa

3. Etika perawat perubatan islam. This reminds me of a perawat i bump into before. I call him over the phone. Oh, yes he’s from Darussyifa also. I storied him my intention and said that the ‘patient’ couldnt come, so is that ok i come on my own, any help or ikhtiar that he can think of..His answers surprised me BIG time. He said ” Awak kat sini, dia kat sana, dia xnak berubat, nak berubat dari jauh, awak ingat boleh ke macamtu?Awak bgtahu saya boleh ke?”..Like…I was just trying to ask opinion and the reason im in a state of not-known to be known, thats why i ask you…The i said ” Saya tak tahu, sebab itulah saya tanya ustaz boleh atau tidak saya datang tanpa pesakit. So kena ada jugalah dia ni? Ok saya akan ikhtiarkan untuk bawa pesakit”.. Then he replied ” Haaa macam tulaahh”. His tone of voice is another thing that make me go uneasy. Afterwards, he hang up the phone before i did. wanna hang up.Urghh sangat geram dan frustrated. His attitude langsung tak menggambarkan seorang ustaz yang lemah lembut dan pengamal perubatan yang ingin membantu. Wallahualam. Link : From the website juga :

  • Pesakit datang dengan 1001 masalah…jika tidak dapat disembuhkan kesemuanya….melegakan hatinya juga merupakan satu penyelesaian masalah kepadanya.
  • Kesembuhan tidak semestinya datang dengan memerlukan pesakit dihadapan mata. Pengalaman saya dan rakan-rakan perawat yang lain…ada kalanya kesembuhan juga boleh berlaku hanya dengan solat hajjat yang kita pohonkan bersama atau hanya dengan air dan amalan yang kita bekalkan kepada pengadu dan pesakit. Ingatlah kita hanya pembuka jalan tetapi kesembuhan hanya Pada Allah.

The times where i met Ust. Hanafiah and En Jazman, the words coming out from them sudah mampu melegakan hati.Kadang-kadang itu yang kita perlukan, bukakan minda dan hati.

I got a lots of support from my families and friends. Thank you Thank You. Semoga Allah membalas budi baik kalian yang menenangkan hati ini. Ameen Ya Rabb.


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